I have no Eyelashes.

To make a long story short, a few weeks ago two of my friends and I went and got our eyelashes enhanced. Meaning- we went to these Indians in Brooklyn NY who inserted/glued fiber lashes onto our eyelids and paid $15.00 for them. Sure, I looked glamorous for 2 weeks or so, however after three weeks I noticed that the glue was no longer under my lids, but attached to my actual lashes. Freaking out, I dabbed olive oil on my lids and continuously washed my face in hopes that they would fall out. Instead the unthinkable happened. As the lashes got weak and strands of them began to fall out, I noticed that my natural lashes were thinning(Now- I had beautiful eyelashes and they were full and long; I had only enhanced them for a more glamorous look for this fashion show I was attending). By the time I pulled and yanked the lashes off, all my hair was coming out along with the extensions! My hair was just GONE and I looked BALD! I looked like a female cartoon character with no eyelashes! I attempted to lift up what was left with mascara but only picked up about 10 strands on each side. I even tried to put DOGRO(hair growing product) on my mascara brush but that only stung my eyes. Embarrassing!

Any how this morning I went into McDonald's to buy breakfast and I noticed a man who had more eyelashes than me. Can you believe that??? a man has thicker, longer and fuller lashes than ME. I was SO jealous. Now I have to wait 4 to 8 weeks for my lashes to grow back. And trust me, I have learned my lesson- I'm sticking with what I got.

OK. So I am just getting out of a yr long relationship with someone I thought I was going to be with forever, and I am seriously nothing but a horrible mess. For about a month I cried, lost my appetite and lost interest in everything and anyone who dared breathed hello. I felt as though my world caved in on me and I was suffocating. He was my first boyfriend and I love(d) him. I still cant believe its really over, because I did not see this coming. After our breakup, I found myself attending church, and to be honest it was my safe haven. It was the only place where I could be around people, listen to music, and above all, praise the only one who is really and truly the love of my life-God! The only place I feel at peace is when I am at church, and no- I am not a very spiritual person ( or at least I wasn't). Before my breakup I was fully living my life without Christ. Sure, I knew God and I loved him, but I didn't walk with him. I only prayed when I needed something, or prayed for good fortune, but I didn't pray for mercy or grace over my soul. I did a lot of things that I regret, but now I know that I have been forgiven. I am still trying to let go of him( I hate the term 'ex'), and move on but it is so hard for me to do. I dream about him, I see him when I look at other people, and I am constantly tempted to pick up the phone and curse him out, but I have too much pride for that. We attempted to continue to talk and be friends, but that only drove me crazy. Yesterday I was told he was communicating with someone (via Facebook) and I got so upset that I removed him from my friends list on Facebook and deleted all our pictures. While I am sitting here praying for us to get back together, he's off having fun and moving on. I feel so empty inside. I am so upset, and I cant stop crying.

Lost.

Hi everyone.
So over the past couple of months I have been on a journey searching for "myself", and a spiritual connection with God. I am at a point in my life where I am experiencing so many different things at once. I constantly find myself overwhelmed, sad, lonely and confused. I will soon be graduating this upcoming May, and the pressures of "what next", is becoming more of a hassel(especially during the economic crisis). Any how, this blog is my journal(made public) of how I will figure my life out, and about people who are in and out of my life.